That was my question. In fact, it had been my question for the past few months. Since my photography business has really geared up, I have been far too busy. Too busy to cook dinner more than once or twice a week. Too busy to take Claire to the park as often as she'd like. Too busy to respond to emails and voicemails in a timely matter. Too busy to ever just sit down and relax with my husband. A couple of weeks ago, Nate and I watched a 48 Hours investigation on polygamy and when it was over I turned to him and said, "When was the last time we just sat down and watched a TV show together?" The truth was, it had been months. Too busy.
So I made the decision that even though my budding business was just starting to gain momentum, I would cut back a little. I would limit the number of photo shoots I did per week. It was starting to work, but it was not what I wanted. I needed to cut something else in my life.
Here enters my job at a local non-profit. I have worked there for over three years and have truly loved (almost) every minute. Once Claire was born, I cut my time back to 12 hours in the office a week. It's been perfect. Claire has been able to have weekly playdates with her cousin and it’s given me some time for myself. And if any of you have ever heard me talk about my job, you know that the people I work with are awesome. Really, there isn't a better bunch of co-workers to have. It's like The Office reincarnated.
But, something had to go, or we might never have a home-cooked meal again. All these questions started coming to me like: will I feel self-fulfilled? will I still have an identity? now instead of being too busy, will I be bored to death all day everyday? am I selfish for wanting to work? what about all those suit jackets and black pin-striped pants I own? will they ever be worn again? when will I ever work in a professional environment again?
Now, in steps my insightful and supportive husband. He says: of course you will work again; no, you are not selfish; you will still have many identities; you still have photography to keep you plenty busy; we can go out on date nights and you can wear your pin-striped pants; just think of all the time you can spend with Claire, just playing and doing nothing. That was the clincher. He always makes things all better. That's why he's the best husband ever.
So, after many hours of deliberation and prayer, the decision had been made. My last day is tomorrow. Wish me luck.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
To quit or not to quit
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13 comments:
Mel- that is a tough decision and I know they will really miss you at work. It seems like it has been a great job. I look at all my suits in my closet and think the same thing- when will I ever wear these again? There is just something about getting dressed up in a suit and heels that makes a girl feel confident. On the other hand, I think you will really love just being with Claire and focusing on your photography. I'm still doing my consulting work from home but since moving I have cut out about 6 hours a week that I was working on campus. It has made a huge difference. All of a sudden life seems more manageable, even though it wasn't that much time per week. Those six hours have made a difference for all of us. I hope you also enjoy the change! Good luck tomorrow...last days are always kind of hard.
Oh Melissa, this is the question that plagues my life. Good for you, for making the plunge.
I'll be in town over the fourth and would love to get together for dinner one evening. -- Hopefully we can take advantage of some of this newly acquired down time.
If you ever find yourself with little do, you can come over and our girls can play together. We just set up a little pool in the back yard today, and you are welcome any time!
Wow, I know that must have been a tough decision for you. You and Nate are the only people I know who love your jobs. Sometimes I wish I had a good excuse to quit my job! But even though you will definitely miss working, I'm sure you will enjoy having more time. And you can always go back to work sometime down the road when the timing is right (although by that time, your photography business will be so busy that you won't have time).
This was a good post. I recently had to go through this myself. -I don't have any kids yet, but I had a constant nagging thought that I needed to simplify my life. I had to let go of things I thought were very important. But now that time has passed, let me tell you, you will not be too sad because having homemade meals everynight and time to be bored is GREAT!!!! I'm sure you will miss your job, but you'll LOVE the extra time you have with your family, I know I have. =)
Happy last day! You are such an amazingly talented person, I think it's great that you have so many different facets of awesomeness to you. This is definitely one of those checkpoints in life that you're thinking about when you're old and evaluating your life's choices--I don't think you'll have regrets about this one!
I don't deserve the credit given. You made the right, although, hard decision to make. I love you even more for it and even though Claire can't tell you I know she loves you for it too. Just remember that every time you hear her say "Mama". You are the best, most loving and giving wife and mother ever! I love you!!!
I totally agree with your husband. Suit pants can be worn to dinner, your daughter will love having you around more, and you will never lose your identity. You're Mel!
Mel, You're quitting the United Way? I thought you had decided to quit being a mom. Just kidding. Really, I'm just kidding. No hate mail, please. Wow! Good luck. But hopefully, you'll be able to take a few more photos while you're at it. And when you get dressed up again, make sure to pick a skirt with a taffeta overlay.
Congratulations. Quitting a job is always hard to do! But you're doing it for a noble reason. Good luck! You can always come up to Logan for a play date!
I am really not quite sure what to say because on one hand I know that it was a difficult decision, but on the other I know that your life will still have meaning and purpose. Sometimes, as women especially, it's hard when we have something to define us and make us feel needed and important, like a job. But being a mom is also a job (a 24/7 one with no pay) whose rewards far outweigh any money-earning job ever could. I'm sure you know that. Just remember that you are awesome, I think you're great, and one day you'll be able to look back and be amazed. There is so much to do in life that each time you choose something there is always something that doesn't get chosen. Hey, have your people call my people and we'll do lunch!
I'm so afraid of the day when I have to face this decision. Thanks for sharing it. You're strong.
missing you at uw! (not that I saw you that much anyway since our cubies are so far apart)
Melissa What a hard decision. I also had to make the same decision and I have loved staying home. Being a mom is the greatest. I remember talking about this when we used to be VT comps...miss those days! Good luck and I am so glad that you are doing what you feel is right.
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